TMS & Ketamine Sessions Completed

I finished my last TMS and ketamine session last week. I have my follow up with my psychiatrist on Monday. I am a little underwhelmed with the results. I don’t feel worse, but the positive changes are very mild. The only thing I’ve noticed (which I actually think is from the ketamine) is the ability to pull myself out of a thought loop more easily, sometimes. But... sometimes is better than never.

There is such a thing as a “late responder” to TMS. This is where the individual doesn’t see results until sometime after the treatment ends. There’s still a little hope that I will fall into this category, but I’m not holding my breathe.

I didn’t update this blog much during the process because my body feels like it’s reached a “crash period”. I’ve gotten so burned out on all there is to do, keep track of, and keep up with that my body and brain just quit working. Things should slow down at the beginning of next year.

Moving Forward

I’m going to ask my psychiatrist if I can switch from the Fluoxetine (still stuck at 5mg) to Lexapro liquid so I can match the dose and taper that medication instead. I feel like Fluoxetine makes my mood worse and more anxious, but tapering is also causing withdrawal issues. When I switched from Lexapro to Fluoxetine, I had no idea I’d still be struggling to get off of meds in general this far into the future.

I’ve also decided to look into prescription ketamine lozenges at home. I know this isn’t as potent as the IV infusions, but it’s more doable for me. By the 9th and final session, I did feel like I was feeling some improvement in mood and started to enjoy the experience a little. I did not enjoy it at the beginning at all. Now that I’ve worked through the barriers that made the whole experience terrifying, I am able to relax enough to go with it. It took a good 5 sessions before I got to that point.