Introduction: My Story

My Story: Why I’m Sharing This Journey

I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety since childhood, though for many years I kept it mostly hidden. As an adult, I’ve been prescribed nearly every medication imaginable. Some made things much worse. Some helped briefly, only to stop working soon after. Others simply left me numb.

I’ve seen several therapists along the way. While therapy can be incredibly valuable for many people, it never seemed to help me. Looking back, I think I was either seeing the wrong type of therapist or there was a communication barrier I couldn’t break through.

For decades, I was told that I felt the way I did because of a “chemical imbalance”—and that medication would correct it.

Discovering the Truth About Withdrawal

For years, I was gaslit into believing that SSRI withdrawal didn’t exist. When my symptoms worsened after stopping a medication, I was told it was just “my depression coming back.” Each time, a new prescription was added—often with a new diagnosis.

It wasn’t until recently—25 years later—that I discovered SSRI withdrawal is very real. That realization brought a wave of emotions: anger, grief, validation, and a strange kind of freedom.

After being told for most of my life that I had a permanent brain imbalance, learning the truth was both devastating and liberating. It reframed everything I’d experienced. And it gave me a new mission: to become medication-free and to help others understand what’s really happening to them.

Where I Am Now

I began tapering off my combination of medications in January 2025. At that time, I was taking Lexapro (escitalopram), Adderall, Remeron (mirtazapine), and Lyrica (pregabalin).

I first switched from Lexapro to Prozac (fluoxetine) because of its longer half-life, which is supposed to make withdrawal smoother. So far, I’ve successfully weaned off everything except Prozac (currently holding at 5 mg) and Doxepin (5 mg nightly) for sleep.

Right now, I’m at a bit of a standstill. Any further reduction in the SSRI—or removing the sleep aid—makes it nearly impossible to function. My next step is to find a doctor who can prescribe compounded or liquid fluoxetine so I can do a slow, precise taper. I’ve tried making my own liquid doses at home, but accuracy has been a challenge.

Why I Created This Site

I started this blog as a resource for anyone going through antidepressant withdrawal or trying to become medication-free. The process is long, discouraging, and at times, feels hopeless.

If sharing my experience can help even one person feel less alone, more informed, or more hopeful, then it’s worth every word.

This is my story — and my ongoing journey to healing, clarity, and freedom.